diabetes vs discipline

Part 1

At 36, my Popz died  | And just before that, he lost his legs and his eyes

From tall, dark and handsome to a wheelchair and blind  | My idol and namesake gone before his time.

The death of him left me, my sisters and brethren | With our bodies and souls exposed to the elements

And even though we was products of different marriages | His dying wish was to keep us from living separate

Our mamas tried to honor this as much as possible | And as his oldest child, I tried to be responsible

I'm sorry Pop. I did my best. I swear to God! | But your death left us bereft and threatened with hellish odds

I hated you for puttin us in that position | I know it ain't your fault you was insulin dependent

But ignoring what you knew gave this cold world permission | To eat your children alive without you hear to defend'em [2]

But you was just a man, and that man I've forgiven | I'm sure if you knew the future, you'dve done some thangs different

You played your part the way God's scripts was written | And because of you dippin', I made health my religion

But your second oldest son got your same sickness | Your oldest daughter ain't got the gene, but she still afflicted

Your youngest son's kidneys was bad, but it wasn't known | Til he blacked out behind the wheel...And he was gone.

A few of us try to keep the rest alive | But we all grown men and women with our own minds,

Our own habits, our own moods and secrets | And the will to do right ain't always strong as them streets is! [3]

Part 2

I was wakin' up 'bout 3AM every night | Hungry and weak. I thought I had parasites

Inflammation in my fingers and balls of my feet | And started developing a stutter as part of my speech

Eating 7-8 times a day, every 90 minutes | And still would feel like I'm starvin'. I couldn't comprehend it

Workin' out, so besides a gut, I was rock solid | Squirtin' out from inside my gut somethin' not solid

I'm sorry. I know that's TMI | But I was tore up, and doctors didn't know the reason why

I'm vegan, and might go 10 weeks without a sweet, | But I was pre-diabetic, and hardly ever gettin' sleep

I started my 45th birthday on a cane | Couldn't walk unassisted: My feet in too much pain

So I prayed: for the wisdom to heal my own system, | Simplified my diet, and paid close attention

First half of the day, the only thing I ate | Was boiled amaranth, with cinnamon, coconut and date

And a little pinch of sea salt, to taste | For dinner, quinoa, mushroom and vegetable sauté

With a short, full-body workout before every plate [4] | I was fully excercising my physical and my faith

But I looked a whole lot better than I would feel | Cuz I was eatin' all the time, so my body couldn't heal

I thought intermittent fasting was just hype | Til it reversed my symptoms, some almost overnight

And when I learned about cholesterol types and insulin spikes | I got some insight into my family's plight

Its seems, half my family tree's naturally skinny dudes | With brute strength, but a allergy to shitty foods [5]

Bodies efficient at burning fat but weak | From wheat, rye, barley, excess carbs and meat

Our ancestors ate regional and seasonal | Diabetic traits was uncommon and unfeasible

We unbelievable when we do what we need to do | But when we don't the consequence is unspeakable

Part 3

There's a lot I can't say | On how Pop being gone done let the devil have his way

How me and all of my siblings got demons we gotta slay | How as I wrote this song, my closest brother passed away....

20 years I dreaded the call, and then it came | I barely remember gettin' on the plane

But I still hear my mama tryin' to explain, while wailin' through the pain | It's the fate I tried everythang in my power to change

Tryin' to convince him to act and eat differently | But deep down, he felt it was facts: he'd repeat history

I knew his pride, but not the depths of his misery | His heart was scarred physically and metaphysically

I can't explain what this shit did to me | I quit my job, cuz I just don't have the energy

I can't call mama: sometime her grief is too big for me | I cry when I see his daughter, cuz she his spittin' imagery

I'm strong in many ways, but in a few--delicate |To stay strong, I treat food and wisdom as medicine

We was raised in different states and different homes | But my last remaining brother got almost the same regimen

Turns out, we was both runnin' experiments | To stay healthy, makin' the most of our intelligence:

Learn what works for our bodies, make that repetitive, | And fight the urge to be negligent with the evidence.

So far daddy's boys the only ones | I mean, my baby sister seem okay, but she got a son

And I can't say how deep this thang run | Cuz I know my daddy's Pops also died when he was young

So was we cursed before our bloodline begun? | Or powerful, but forgot where we get the power from?

My body tells me my work is not done | But what we learn to understand, we can overcome.

What the Research Says...

These are direct quotes from and (where possible) links to scientific articles on diabetes and other chronic illnesses. In time, I will work on improving the annotations for ease of understanding. For now, I'm just using short excerpts to connect the research to specific lines in the song, In the lyrics they are identified by red text and a number corresponding to the quote/link below. When appropriate, I may also include a personal reflection, but you'll probably find more detailed reflections in the video commentary. 

[1] "...reducing identified, modifiable dietary and lifestyle risk factors could prevent most cases of coronary artery disease, stroke, diabetes, and many cancers..." (Willet et al., 2006, p.883)

[2] "Losses occurring during the illness trajectory are most likely to cause grief, and caregivers in this vulnerable position are highly exposed to psychological distress during caregiving and after the death of the patient..." (Nielson, 2016)

[3] "Diabetes mellitus is a chronic illness that requires significant behavior change in the family, because the demands of adhering to the patient's healthcare regime are associated with psychosocial conflicts for the patient and the family environment." (Awadalla et al., 2006, p. 727)

[4] "...various healthy lifestyle profiles appeared to be associated with gains in life-years without major chronic diseases." (Nyberg et al., 2020, p. 760)

[5] "In recent years, researchers have recognized the insulin resistance syndrome (also known as the metabolic syndrome) as a common contributing factor to the development of diabetes, CAD, and some cancers. The syndrome is characterized by increased waist circumference, low HDL (high-density lipoprotein) cholesterol, high levels of triglycerides, hypertension, and glucose intolerance. The most direct causes are overweight and inactivity, but dietary factors contribute. Genetic factors, which are probably beneficial during periods of food shortages, also play a role. Recent evidence indicates that the populations of Asia, Latin America, and probably Africa are particularly susceptible (Dickinson and others 2002; Harris and others 1998)." (Willet et al., 2006, p.834)